The Paradox of Regret...

At the deeper level of life we always meet paradox.

As Gene Keys founder Richard Rudd states, "paradox is the only way to come close to the truth".

Something else from his teachings struck me about regret.

I often find myself saying "I don't regret XYZ..." because I understand that whatever happened had to do so that way for me the gain the lessons that I was intended to learn.

There's simply no other way to gain our experiential wisdom, then to EXPERIENCE something!

We pay attention to pain, and so it is one of our greatest teachers (if we offer it our self reflection and accountability).

But should we regret what led us to this pain?

When we learn how our actions caused pain to others, do we not regret it?

How could we learn such humility without having done so?

Maybe it's yes, AND no.

("This AND That"... Another sign you've landed on something more accurate, vs "This OR That")

The paradox with regret is - to avoid or deny it, is to live a life without risk, without totality.

It's never giving your heart to something / someone or attempting what you truly care about because this will always involve "risk" (for the ego).

And so regret gets to be a part of the totality of our human experience.

While we paradoxically don't (really) regret it at all, because it meant we truly lived, loved, and learned.

The flavour or pain we call regret is an abrasive teacher, but it knows just how to humble us to the private tenderness of our own heart.


No, no regrets
No, I will have no regrets
All the things that went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong
No, no regrets
No, I will have no regrets
For the grief doesn't last
It is gone, I've forgotten the past

And the memories I had
I no longer desire
Both the good and the bad
I have flung in a fire
And I feel in my heart
That the seed has been sown
It is something quite new
It's like nothing I've known

No, no regrets
No, I will have no regrets
All the things that went wrong
For at last I have learned to be strong
No, no regrets
No, I will have no regrets
For the seed that is new
It's the love
That is growing for you

No Regrets, Song by Édith Piaf