Fear on the Spiritual Path
Something we can bump up against on the awakening path is believing we need to become neutral, equanimous, monk-like presentations to qualify as "spiritual".
The truth is there's nothing you need to "do" to be spiritual - you already inherently are (in different stages of ignorance <-> realisation).
Spirituality isn't a practice (yoga, meditation, breathwork, energy work) or what you wear (mala beads, white linen, crystals, a cross).
It's a state of Being.
A realisation of Who You Are.
A realisation that spurs you to live, serve, and create as the fullest, truest, and highest expression, embodiment, and ecstasy of that knowing.
On the path of Tantra (and any personal growth that involves shadow work) a lot of fear can come up...
Fear of facing off with parts of yourself you don't like, or acknowledging wounds, experiences, and stories that are painful, or feel shameful and dark.
We fear what will happen when we look at these, or if others find out about these and how will they see and judge us.
We fear we are "too much" or "not enough".
We fear the discomfort, awkwardness, and vulnerability of simple being seen in our rawness and wholeness - without the masks and armour.
When I was planning Shedding Skins, I did an Akashic Records reading to feel into the participants that would be called to join these Tantric workshops and anything important to know as we embark on this journey where we would consciously take our torch into the underworld of our psyche and emotional waters.
A line that stood out to me:
"There is nothing to fear, for meeting one's True Self is always a meeting of love."
This struck me deep.
All the fear diminishes when we meet the True Self.
Yes, as humans we are complex beings that hold light and shadow... but fear is simply the state of ignorance of True Self... the ignorance of love.
And the exercises and practices we move through in our shadow work may press upon that fear, but it's through that process that we gain new keys to unlock more love that was hidden or disguised.
Spirituality doesn't require you to become "perfect", flawless, or some puritanical version of yourself.
And it's not a forcing, a restraining, or a killing of the ego.
Yes, we often use the term "ego death" but you could also frame it as a befriending. A full acceptance and love of everything, including the "ego" and the role it plays.
What's actually dying is anything preventing you from loving and receiving love.
All the scarcity and survival-based societal programming, dysfunctional familial conditioning, emotional wounds and knots held in the body, mental poisons driving the subconscious, and distorted and limiting beliefs and stories used to shield and self-sabotage.
There can be this idea you're meant to erode your personality on the spiritual path, but it's not about eliminating your individuality. It involves understanding and revealing what's blocking your true nature from shining through.
Non-dual practices (e.g. transcendental Vedic Meditation) are helpful in teaching us we are not our body, we are not our mind, we are not our personality...
But in this earthly life I'm also aware I have a physical body, mind is a phenomena that is present, and my personality does influence and shape my experience of the world.
I enjoy having these transcendent experiences while also seeing the beauty of this earthly experience where I get to animate this physical fleshy instrument that gets to have a name and unique identity and relationships and hobbies and interests and creativity.
For me it's our personal quirks that makes this journey interesting, beautiful, and precious.
And Tantra is a path that can hold both... Individuality and totality. Form and formless.
It returns us to a Self that is the most pure, innocent, natural, erotic, and present in form.
